What does that mean? To me? To be a mom? What about to you? With Mother’s Day fast approaching I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
At least once a day I get asked…Do you have kids? Yup. Yes. I have three. Three boys.
They usually follow that with something like, wow that’s amazing! Three boys! You must be so busy. Yup. Yes. Three boys are busy. A six-year-old, a nine-year-old and my oldest is now almost 17.
AND THIS IS WHERE it happens —-> You DO NOT have a 16-year-old at home. Yup. Yes. I do.
And right here is where I start to questions myself. WHY DO I DO THAT?
I can see the wheels turning in their heads. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t exactly look like I am approaching 40 but aside from that, depending on who I am with, someone typically takes an opportunity to jump in and clarify for me with stuff like this:
- She’s his parent, not his mom
- Well she didn’t birth him, it’s not her kid
- She’s his mom just not the bio mom
- She’s his stepmom
- It’s her husbands’ kid
it’s her husbands’ kid? really. Yes, readers, that happens to me…OFTEN.
And It breaks my heart. Does it really matter? Does the story really matter? Sure I didn’t physically endure all that comes with birthing a child. I get that. I get it. However, I was 24. I was still a very young woman making a very big decision. A decision I took very seriously. I decided to walk into a lifelong relationship and to be a mom right away.
So I am done holding back.
I am his mom. There I said it. I am not his bio mom but I can guarantee with everything in me that I am his mom too. I share the responsibility of raising this child WITH my husband.
When I said yes to Ben in June of 2005…I also said yes to Domenic and on our wedding night, little Domenic joined us for the first dance to Better Together by Jack Johnson. From that moment forward I made the decision to do everything and anything to ensure he was healthy, safe and loved. Just like every mom does the moment they find out they are having a child.
Domenic lives full time in our home. He’s a teenager now. He’s smart, funny, witty and hormonal. He’s a bit of his dad, a bit his bio mom and a bit me.
He has a passion for music like me. He likes to work out with me. We have the same sense of fashion and style. We like to kick it back and watch cheesy TV together. We talk about girls. I drive him to house parties and I pick him up no matter what the time. I worry about him. I cry for him when someone breaks his heart. I am sometimes hard on him…because let’s face it, he’s a teen. I want only the best for him. I push him because I want him to be the best version of himself. I love him.
I have been a mom for almost a third of my life. His mom. Anthony’s mom. Stefano’s mom. And yes, I am a younger woman with a teen child. Listen…I have experienced three first day of kindergarten, pulled three first loose tooths, been to all parent-teacher meetings for three kids; wiped tears, noses, and butts of three boys, been to every single one of their school recitals…AND on top of that…I have already experienced first dates, junior high graduation, house parties, high school drama, first jobs, prepping for university…
Why? because I am HIS mom. I have lot’s of experience to share because I have been through many firsts, so ask me about that instead of correcting me about where I stand in his life. The reality is soon my son will be 18 and we will send him off into the world on his own to travel, to work, to drive, to be independent of us and guess what? I will still be his mom. She will still be his mom. Dad will be the dad. Because that’s how OUR story goes.
Blended family or not…whatever you wanna call it. I AM a mom of three boys. Three amazing and forever little boys.
To all the mom’s out there, regardless of how it came to be, this one is for you. So share this. Spread the love. Why? Because ALL MOMS are amazing and to be a mom is not just a joy…it’s a lifelong vow you make to forever love someone unconditionally. No matter how it happened.
till the next post,